Have you ever been mid-conversation when someone says something that makes you pause—not angry, not offended, just… disoriented? Like you briefly stepped into a parallel universe where the rules are different. It often happens in casual chats about money, work, or “life choices.” And very often, it happens when someone from the upper middle class is talking.
They’re usually not cruel. In fact, they’re often generous, well-meaning, even warm. But when you grow up—or grow into—a life where the bills are paid, healthcare is covered, and the future feels manageable, it quietly reshapes how you talk about the world.
Privilege doesn’t announce itself. It whispers.
It’s like wearing prescription glasses for so long you forget they’re on your face. Everything looks “normal” to you. But to someone without that safety net, certain phrases land wrong. Not because of malice—but because of distance.
Here are eight common phrases that often sound harmless to the speaker, yet painfully out of touch to people living closer to the edge.
“I’m So Broke Right Now”
This one shows up everywhere—after a vacation, a big purchase, or a round of online shopping. When someone with money says they’re “broke,” they usually mean they’ve hit a self-imposed budget limit. Their checking account looks thin. Their savings account does not.
To someone who is actually broke, this can feel insulting. Real broke is wondering whether rent clears. It’s choosing between groceries and gas. It’s checking your balance with a knot in your stomach. If you have savings, insurance, and a fallback plan, you’re not broke. You’re temporarily cautious.
A more grounded way to say it:
“I’m trying to stick to my budget this month.”
“Why Don’t They Just Get a Better Job?”
On the surface, this sounds practical. Logical, even. If a job doesn’t pay enough, leave it. Problem solved.
Except it isn’t.
Better jobs often require time, money, stable internet, reliable transportation, education, or certifications. Many people work essential jobs—caregiving, cleaning, food service—that society relies on but underpays. And leaving one job for another isn’t always possible when missing a paycheck could mean eviction.
This phrase ignores structural barriers and treats inequality like a personal failure.
A more honest take:
“It’s incredibly hard to move up when the system works against you.”
“Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness”
This phrase usually comes from someone whose basic needs are fully met. And technically, it’s true—money alone doesn’t guarantee joy or purpose.
But it absolutely buys security. It buys medicine. It buys a safe home. It buys a car that starts in the morning. It buys time and options. And when survival stress is removed, happiness becomes much easier to access.
To someone worried about food or housing, hearing this can feel dismissive.
A more empathetic version:
“Having financial security removes a lot of stress, and I’m lucky to have that.”
“We All Have the Same 24 Hours”
This one gets shared endlessly online, usually next to a photo of a billionaire or CEO. The message is simple: if they can succeed, so can you.
But time isn’t experienced equally.
An upper-middle-class household often has appliances, cars, paid help, flexible jobs, and fewer crises. Someone living paycheck to paycheck may spend hours on public transport, work multiple jobs, and handle every chore manually. Their “24 hours” are packed tighter, heavier, and more fragile.
A better framing:
“I’m grateful for the resources that give me more free time.”
“Why Don’t You Just Hire Someone?”
This comment usually comes with good intentions. A friend is overwhelmed. The solution seems obvious: outsource the problem.
But hiring help is a luxury. For many families, there is no extra money—every dollar already has a job. Suggesting this can make someone feel like their struggle is due to poor choices, not limited options.
A more human response:
“That sounds exhausting. How can I support you?”
“I Only Buy Organic”
Food choices are deeply personal, but they’re also deeply financial. Organic food costs more—sometimes a lot more. When someone casually says they “only” buy organic, it can sound like a moral judgment, even if it isn’t meant that way.
Most people buy what they can afford. That’s not a failure of values—it’s a reality of prices.
A more aware way to phrase it:
“I try to buy organic when it fits my budget. Food costs are tough right now.”
“Travel Really Broadens the Mind”
Travel can be transformative. It can expand perspective, empathy, and curiosity. But it also costs money, time off work, documentation, and safety nets.
For many people, international travel isn’t a missed opportunity—it’s an impossibility. Suggesting that those who haven’t traveled are less informed or less open-minded ignores economic reality.
A gentler version:
“I feel lucky I’ve had the chance to travel.”
“We Worked Hard for Everything We Have”
Hard work matters. Most people who say this did work hard. But the phrase often leaves out the invisible advantages: parents who helped, networks that opened doors, health that didn’t collapse, timing that worked out.
When success is framed as purely effort-based, it implies that those who struggle simply aren’t trying hard enough.
A more complete truth:
“We worked hard, and we were fortunate to have opportunities and support.”
It’s Not About Guilt—It’s About Awareness
None of these phrases make someone a bad person. Most of us have said at least one of them. This isn’t about shaming people for having money or comfort.
It’s about listening.
When we recognize how our words land, we stop offering easy answers to complex problems. We become better friends, neighbors, and coworkers. We replace advice with empathy. Assumptions with curiosity.
The world feels radically different depending on how much financial cushion you have. When we choose our words with that in mind, we show respect for realities beyond our own.
FAQs
Are these phrases always wrong to say?
No. Context matters. They become problematic when said without awareness of who you’re speaking to.
Is it bad to acknowledge hard work if you’re successful?
Not at all. It helps to also acknowledge luck, timing, and support.
Why do these phrases bother people so much?
Because they often minimize real struggles or imply that poverty is a personal failure.
What’s the alternative to giving advice?
Listening, validating feelings, and asking how you can help.
